


SammyClassicSonicFan's Frickin' SammyClassicTanooki

by ButtfuckMcGee



Category: Greek and Roman Mythology, SammyClassicSonicFan (fandom), Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Super Mario Bros.
Genre: 4-way, F/M, Fangirls, Intense, M/M, Multi, Orgy, romantic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-02-25 03:33:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2606957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButtfuckMcGee/pseuds/ButtfuckMcGee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a normal day at the YMCA, SammyClassicSonicFan has a run-in with his massive amount of fangirls. However, Sammy ignores them, only looking to his next frick target: Peach. However, the Extra Rare Limited Edition Fire Mario Backpack has something to say about this, and teams up with the Sonic Slippers to go fast and stop Sammy's quest. What ensues after is that to be recorded as a legend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Enter Frickin' SammyClassicSonicFan!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ¨The journey of a thousand fricking miles begins with one fricking step.¨ -Sammy

The YMCA. Everyone loves the YMCA. Especially Sammy. Whenever he wasn’t playing video games or crying about video games, or even saying they’re good, he was there or asleep. The YMCA was the place to be. However, Sammy always has a problem whenever he wants to go out to the YMCA. Like any other sexy beast, he had oodles of fangirls. Fangirls can tend to be a problem, especially when you’re trying to have a good time at the YMCA. All Sammy wanted was a quiet evening and it was being ruined by all of these fangirls. Sammy only wanted people to hate him, not love him. When he went to the door, the fangirls were already there, ready to swarm him. He made the right decision and returned home to film a new video about Ubisoft being a horrible company. 

 

Sammy couldn’t sleep that night. He had not had his enjoyment that day and the YMCA would have to wait for another day. He had no satisfaction, couldn’t get none. He tossed and turned all night before going to sleep at 4 AM. He woke up the next day only to find that there were even more fangirls at the YMCA. He decided to brave the crowd and go through. Sammy never thought he had said the word "frick" more times than then. After his exhausting day, he consoled his best and only friends: his Extra Rare Limited Edition Fire Mario Backpack and his Sonic Slippers. They would surely be able to cheer him up.

 

"What's wrong?" asked the Extra Rare Limited Edition Fire Mario Backpack. "We're worried that something is happening to you that you aren't happy with." Sammy was restless in his seat. He was fidgeting. Finally, he burst out with, "I'm tired of frickin' fricks making my experience at the YMCA frickin' annoying as frick!" His face was red with anger. "I just want to frickin' go the frickin' YMCA. Is that toO MUCH TO FRICKIN ASK?" He threw his pillow against the wall. Sammy has gone two days without an enjoyable experience at the YMCA.

 

"What went wrong at the YMCA?" the Sonic Slippers asked. Sammy screamed. "I can't go to the frickin' YMCA without frickin' fans frickin' swarming me!" He shouted. His 15-year-old eyes were starting to tear up. "I just want to have a frickin' good time but all these frickin' fans keep frickin' ruining my frickin' time." Sammy was obviously fricked off. The Sonic Slippers responded with, "Why are they there? Is there a way to fix it?" Sammy once again made frantic screaming noises. "The frickin' problem is it's frickin' girls that I don't want to frick!" He was breathing heavy.

 

"Who do you want to...er..." asked the Extra Rare Limited Edition Fire Mario Backpack, "...'frick'?"

 

Sammy already knew who he wanted to frick. He'd been contemplating it for a long time. "I want to frick Peach." He says calmly. "I really, really want to frick her." When he said it, the Extra Rare Limited Edition Fire Mario Backpack and the Sonic Slippers gasped in awe. They also wanted to frick Peach. This was a problem. "Sammy, what I think you should do is go to the YMCA tomorrow and talk to them." said the Sonic Slippers. "We'll be right here where we are."

 

Their plan had been set in motion.


	2. Sammy's Frickin' Quest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If frickin' fighting is sure to result in frickin' victory then you must fight you frickin' fricks" -Sammy

Dawn of the First Day

72 hours remain

 

Sammy had taken his choice into consideration and now will go through with it. He was ready to start his quest to find the princess so he could "frick" her. Sammy barely knew what a "frick" was and barely knows how it's performed. All he knows is that it will bring him euphoria and believes that he can say the word "fuck" if he does so. Sammy knew that this journey would be long and arduous, but he was prepared. However, before he was to leave, the Extra Rare Limited Edition Fire Mario Backpack and the Sonic Slippers had their own two cents on the situation.

 

"Sammy, we don't think you're ready to go on this journey." the Extra Rare Limited Edition Fire Mario Backpack suggested. "It's long, painful, and you have to leave the premises. Don't meme your member, if you know what I mean."

 

Sammy grabbed his normal backpack and put on a pair of hiking boots. It was clear he wasn't bringing the two along. "Sorry, you two," He responded somberly. "But this is a mission that only I can frickin' take." He grabbed The Sword of Terracelestial, stroked it a few times, and stuck it in his pack. The Extra Rare Limited Edition Fire Mario Backpack started to cry, the Sonic Slippers keeping their solemn expression. "We don't want you to go Sammy! You're going to have to leave the house! Alone!" The Extra Rare Limited Edition Fire Mario Backpack cried.

 

Sammy knew he had to leave the two behind. He couldn't have them... _interrupting._ "You two aren't quite ready to venture into the frickin' wilderness," Sammy explained. "Your bodies are too soft and perfect to be tainted by dirty frickin' wilderness." 

 

He left without another word. 

 

Later, the Extra Rare Limited Edition Fire Mario Backpack and the Sonic Slippers geared up for their journey. It would be long and arduous, but it would be worth it to "frick" da Princess. And in an epic transformation, Fire Mario and Sonic were ready to go fast to find Sammy. They'd find him and beat him to the prize. The plan was to have Sonic be transformed, wearing the Extra Rare Limited Edition Fire Mario Backpack, to go at maximum speeds. They needed to go even faster than Sonic could fast to catch up to Sammy, because they knew he was already at Mount Olympus to find da Princess.


	3. Mount Frickin' Olympus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A frickin' dream doesn't become frickin' reality through frickin' magic: it becomes frickin' reality through hard frickin' work." -Sammy

Dawn of the Third Day

24 Hours Remain

 

Sammy, after a very long, arduous trek scaling the mountain, he was finally at the palace of the gods. His wishes would become true, and he would finally be able to "frick" the Princess. He was ready. However, the  _super fast speed_ of Sonic was almost enough to catch up with him in time. Once the palace was in sight, Sammy was frickin' amazed. It was all the gold your eyes could ever take in and more; it was the only solace in the dark, stormy aura that surrounded it. Sammy ran forward into the darkness, keeping that golden temple in sight. Rushing through the door he was both surprised and disappointed. The interior was humongous; he would never be able to scale anything that size. A throne was the size of thousands of skyscrapers. But his disappointment kicked in when he walked in on something he should not have.

 

There were only two gods inside the palace. One was Zeus, whom was petting a cow in his lap, and the other was Mercury, who was off in the back corner shooting arrows at the wall like a dumbass. Zeus rose, knocking the cow that was in his lap off and plummeted to the ground. "WHO THE FUCK LET YOU IN," He roared. Sammy did not know how to respond to this so he just stood there looking scared. Zeus bellowed again, "HOW THE  **EVER-LOVING FUCK**  DID YOU GET THAT DOOR OPEN?" He turned around quickly. "MERCURY YOU ASSFUCK CLOSE THE DOOR ALL THE WAY NEXT TIME"

 

Mercury dropped his bow. "Okay, Zeus." He responds. "I'm pretty sure I closed it."

 

Zeus sighed, reaching down and picking up the cow, which mooed. "Next time you don't close that fucking door all the way I'm going to throw you down into Ghana." When Zeus finished that sentence Mercury's face went pale. He turned again and picked up his bow, pointing it at Sammy. "Now, who are you and why are you here at Mount Olympian?"

 

Zeus slammed his head into a table nearby. "IT'S OLYMPUS YOU DUMBFUCK" He bellowed. Mercury flinched. "Right, right, it's Olympus. Sorry." He apologized. He turned back to Sammy and re-aimed his bow. "Now, state your name."

 

"Sa--sa--Sammy" he stuttered. He was sweating so hard he might have shit himself. He didn't know what to do with these gods towering over him.

 

"Sammy, you say?" Mercury thinks for a minute and gasps. "Are you the one, the only, SammyClassicSonicFan?" He says ecstatically.

 

"Um..." Sammy stammered. "Yes?"

 

"I'm your biggest fan! Can I get your autograph?" Mercury shouted. "I'd really love to get your au--" He was immediately cut off by Zeus throwing a bolt at his face. "YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKING INTERROGATING THE CHILD, YOU ANUS TART" He screams. "You are the god of messaging. Send a letter off to Hera or something telling her that someone has intruded the palace. We need to know if the consensus of the other gods is for or against him." Mercury left without a word to write the letter to Hera. "Now, Child." Zeus echoed. "What is your business?"

 

Sammy gulped. He had to be brave. He had to be confident in what he was about to say. "I'm here because I want to become a god."


End file.
